Let’s talk about the toughest part of your life journey.
If you are a first generation immigrant you had to make it work in the country you might have been completely unfamiliar with. Who did you have to become to make it happen?
Who was that person that kept on showing up everyday, scared, unsure of how they will handle their day? What was she or he thinking?
Oh my god I don’t know what I am doing, but I will figure it out.
That person was scared and determined at the same time to make things work no matter what.
You might be still in that mode today or you might have relaxed and fallen into a more comfortable routine. I want to invite you to honor your hero and to call her or him back.
You need that strength and courage if you want to keep on improving and changing your life for the better. The inner hero is so helpful where it comes to creating that dream life you have moved here for.
Here are the questions I have asked you in this episode:
Hello, hello my friendskis, how are you? I hope you are doing great. Listen, we are going to talk today about your inner hero. I hope you are ready because I’ve got some good questions for you!
First of all let me introduce myself just in case this is the very first episode you are listening.
My name is Ewelina, I am a life coach for immigrants. I am originally from Poland. I have been a first generation immigrant for 17 years now. I have immigrated from Poland to the US. Now I live in Florida and I love it. Love it so much, the weather is amazing, you guys, I am so happy, so happy in that sunshine. Love it so much! Alright, so today we are going to talk about your inner hero, and the question… the very very first question I have for you is this:
Do you remember when you first moved to this country you are living in now?
Who would forget, right? Who would forget these moments, it was stressful. I know. It was so much stress. Everything was unfamiliar, right? And you had to find strength where you didn’t think there was any. You had to be resilient and determined. And my question is this:
Are you still that person today? Or did things change because you have settled? You got familiar with how life is and that inner hero that had to emerge when times were tough kind of went to sleep now. I want you to consider not letting him or her fall asleep completely. I want you to kinda consider nudging her a little bit, or him a little bit. Waking that hero up.
The toughest moments showed you, your deepest strength and if you are a first generation immigrant, you’ve had so many tough moments. Am I right or what? I know you had. All of us have had so many tough moments. Here is the truth… There are many people out there living calm, not challenging lives, who will never touch that strongest part of themselves. But you did it. You did it.
You my dear, you have met your inner hero already and today I want you to consider two things. First of all I want you to acknowledge the effort your inner hero put into your survival. What about that? How about acknowledging that? I think that would be powerful and the second piece is waking your inner hero up again, challenging yourself so that you keep on growing, keep on changing, and creating even better life experience for yourself. So that all that effort, all that struggle, all that stress, all of that continues on bringing forth incredibly amazing life. The life that you have come here to create. The life that you’ve been dreaming about, not the life that you have settled for. Cause we are so good at settling, and I will explain to you in a moment why we are so good at settling but before we get there, let’s first start with the acknowledgement
And for this you are going to need a piece of paper and something to write with, I am gonna ask you questions. So you can do this as you are listening if that is a possibility for you, if you are driving come back to it later. But the very first question that I have for you is this: What were the toughest situations you have faced as an immigrant?
Some things will immediately come to your mind, right? There are some things that were super, super tough. Maybe it was not knowing exactly what you were getting yourself into? All the unknown that you had to face? That constant fear, the stress of not knowing if you will be able to face whatever challenge was thrown at you? Or maybe it was loneliness? Or knowing that you can’t possibly explain what you are feeling, and going through to people around you? If they were not immigrants as well, right? And they were not going through the same experience. The thing that makes it even worse is that we have the same sense when we think of the loved ones we left behind. We feel this overwhelming sense of disconnect from the people we left behind, because they too would not understand what you were going through, because they have never been through what you are going through. They don’t even understand this new life you are living, the new place you are at, none of it, they just don’t get it because they have not been there with you. It’s almost like you are moving to a different planet. So explaining to them not only what you are going through would be totally completely exhausting and at the end of the day you probably felt like I did, when I was like: What’s even the point to talk about my struggles? So that my parents or my friends would feel bad for me? And would feel bad if they can’t help me? That’s not helpful right, for anyone. Maybe that was the piece that was tough for you as well, or maybe the biggest problem was just this overall frustration. Not being able to stand up for yourself, express yourself, share your opinions and wisdom, handle the situations at hand how you would if you were in your country of origin. So that’s the first question: What were the toughest moments that you have faced as an immigrant? Now the next question is this:
What were the feelings that you most often felt in the toughest moments, the toughest times? Was it maybe fear mixed with courage? Was it self doubt? Loneliness? Frustration?
And then the next question is how did you survive it? What were you doing specifically?
So you know… whatever situation that you have faced, how did you go about surviving that situation? What did you do? The next question is: What were the qualities you had to find within yourself to survive it? So maybe it was learning to believe in yourself when no one else did. Or maybe it was developing that inner strength and wisdom and courage and self confidence and being open to learning new lessons. Maybe you had to become humble?
Now the next question to ask yourself is this:
If you could go back in time and say a few words to yourself back then, when it was so difficult, what would it be? What would you say?
You know, maybe you would tell your inner hero something like: Thank you for working so hard. Thank you for never giving up. I am proud of you and I love you so much. Thank you for giving me this life. Your stress, your fighting gave me the life I have today and I am so thankful to you. You have no idea how amazing our life will be, this is really worth the fight. Keep on going, you’ve got this.
Take a moment and think about this, if you could go back and talk to that person that was working so hard struggling so hard what would you say? How would you encourage him or her to keep on going? How would you explain what were the benefits that you are reaping today of their fight, of their struggle? How amazing it all turned out. How much better it is on this side of things… where things are more comfortable and not so stressful.
Do you see this now? Do you see how the struggles you’ve faced have developed your inner hero? You were in so many situations that stimulated deep fear, yet you’ve faced them, you’ve survived it all. You’ve survived. You have proven to yourself that you can. And here I have the best news for you. Listen, facing your fear is the most beautiful gift you can give to yourself because facing our fear is the name of the game. This is how we grow as human beings. Let me explain something really, really quickly, so that you will understand what you really have done. Most of us don’t understand how big this is.
You have a part of your brain, it’s your lower brain that is very, very active, and the job of this part of your brain is to keep you surviving in this reality. Which to do that that part of your brain
Is working really hard it’s very energized, and what it’s doing is… it’s scanning your reality for threats at 5 cycles per second. So this is happening very, very, very fast. The only job that this part of the brain has is to: keep you surviving, keep you comfortable, and to preserve energy. Because it has this job it will do whatever it can to prevent you from changing and growing, because change and growth means facing the unknown. It means that you will be going after things you have not gone after before, and you will be going into situations and places you have not been before which could mean death. So this part of the brain will be doing everything it can to keep you surviving and not growing and it will challenge you every time that you want to make a positive change, when you want to change something. That’s the part of the brain that will give you the worst case scenario. It’s the drama queen okay? That’s the one that will tell you: I am the worst. This will never work. I am just an immigrant. Who am I to tell these people what I think. My opinion doesn’t matter. These people don’t care about me. They don’t care what I have to say.
That’s the part of the brain that will provide you with these beautiful thoughts. I am being sarcastic, if you didn’t know. I am being sarcastic right now. They are not beautiful thoughts. These are the thoughts that cause us to have deep self doubt. Now, that part of the brain is very energized, it is the most energized part of your brain because it’s all about survival. We are supposed to first survive in this reality so that’s the way evolution made us. That’s the part of the brain that will be convincing you to stay with the job that’s not that fun, that doesn’t pay that well, but it’s familiar. That is the part of the brain that will be convincing you to stay with that husband who is emotionally abusive, because who knows what life would be like without him. But listen, if you are a first generation immigrant you have already faced so much unknown. You have already proven to yourself that it can be done. You have faced it head on. You went against evolution and you won. You won! This is how true inner growth happens my friends. By facing the uncomfortable no matter how unpleasant it is and you have done it. You’ve done it over, and over and over, and over, and again, and again, and again, and again… Have you ever acknowledged the effort that it took? How strong are you? What a badass you are? 99% of my clients never have. Never thought about acknowledging the strength that they had to develop, right? We just don’t do that! Why? Oh because our lower brain doesn’t want us to know how amazing we are. Cause if you knew how amazing you are you could be taking some risks in life.
You would be going after that better version of life. And the lower brain doesn’t want you to. But you have already done so much of it. That’s why I want to suggest that we wake up your inner hero. If he or she has fallen asleep a little bit. I want to encourage you not to settle but to keep on growing. Because that strength, that wisdom that you have gained is priceless.
You have already proven to yourself that it can be done and that you are not gonna die.
Cause the lower brain is like… I think… this is the lower brain thinking: I think that if you go after that different job you could be dying. If you move to that other state, you could be dying. If you walk away from this deeply unhappy marriage, you could die. That is the opinion that comes from the lower brain, this is what we are facing. This is what you have faced when you first came but you didn’t;’t have a choice, you had to face it, and you had to somehow survive and you did. So you did it. You already did it. So now let’s wake up your inner hero again. Let’s nudge him or her a little bit. And here are the questions I have for you. So first of all What are the 3 challenges you are facing right now? What are the most difficult things in your life right now? Is it maybe that job that feels like a huge burden and is not fun at all and you would love to change that job but you feel stuck? Or maybe you feel really deeply unhappy in your marriage and you have no idea how to get out? Or maybe some things are going on back in your country of origin with your family and you don’t know how to help, you feel really hopeless.
So that’s what I want you to explore first. What are three challenges that you are facing right now?
Now the next question is this:
If your inner hero was to address it, what would she or he do?
Now remember this is that part of you that already is super courageous, self confident, wise, aware of many solutions, it knows what is within your control and what is not.
So if that person, with that knowledge, wisdom and strength was to face that challenge what would he or she do?
Would she start looking into the logistics of leaving your husband?
Or would she apply for that job? Or maybe hop on the plane to see how you can support your family in person? Maybe the very first step would be to sit down at the table with a piece of paper and write down all possible solutions? Just brainstorm.
So if your inner hero was to address this situation what would she or he do.
You know the answer deep inside. You know it, cause your inner hero is inside there with all the answers. Now you might have been avoiding even asking yourself this question because you were afraid, but you do know what that next step could be, if you believed you could do it. So often we don’t see the whole path, we don’t see how things will unfold but we know the very first step and that’s all we need to know. It’s that very first step because we create our lives, things unfold one step at a time. We are not supposed to know the whole thing.
And remember that fear is normal, and you already know how to handle fear, right? It’s just your lower brain working extra hard trying to keep you safe and comfortable, doing everything it can to prevent you from risking and growing and changing your life. And you already know that courage does not feel that great. Courage is basically a mix of fear and determination. It’s not that great of a feeling, but you have proven to yourself in the past over and over and over and over how courageous you can be, and courage is a feeling. Feelings are created by thoughts, so it’s thoughts like: I am afraid but I will do it anyway. I don’t know how to do it all but I know the first step. I will figure it out as I go. I am willing to try. I am worth it. I am worth trying. I am gonna give myself that gift. Gift of trying and figuring it out
Listen my dear friends. Your inner hero wants to keep on working with you. It wants to keep on creating positive change in your life. And you have the answers, you’ve got the solutions. Just
sit down, write it out, you will be surprised how much you already know!
And if you would like to help with bringing your inner hero to life, contact me.
I am a life coach, I help immigrants understand their lives, understand their brains, and keep on creating that positive change so that their lives feel amazing. So that you wake up and you are happy, you are smiling to yourself, you can’t wait for that next day, you can not wait because it;s that much fun! That’s possible for any of you and I believe that us, the first generation immigrants, we especially deserve that, because of what we have done. Because the hero that had to be developed and woken up and how much stress, and what a big of a challenge that was at the time but we did it. We did it, so that’s why we deserve that dream.
So if you wanna help creating that dream, let me know. You can send me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org that’s my email address. Or you can go to www.lifecoachforimmigrants.com and book a free consultation with me. During that consultation you will tell me what’s going on in your life and we will see if I can help you, and if so I would tell you how I could help you. I have a few openings for 1 on 1 clients so if you want to work with me contact me soon. Alright my dear. Have a fantastic rest of your day and I will talk to you next time.